Over the years, one thing I always told moms in my childbirth classes was this simple idea: there is no birth math!
What I meant by that is if your contractions took four hours to get you to 3 centimeters, that doesn’t mean it’s going to take another four hours to get to 6 centimeters. There’s just no formula or calculation that can predict how long labor will take. Every labor is different. Every body is different. Sometimes things move fast after hours of slow progress, and sometimes they don’t. Contractions can come and go in ways that don’t follow any set pattern.
When I taught, I discouraged “birth math” because when moms start trying to figure out timing and doing mental calculations, they get stuck in their heads. That thinking mode can actually get in the way of the body doing what it needs to do. Instead of tuning in and trusting the process, moms might start worrying or stressing about how long things are taking. That stress and mental chatter can slow things down or make labor harder. Birth needs trust and presence more than anything else.
Staying “out of your head” during labor is important because birth is a physical, emotional, and hormonal process that works best when your body feels safe and relaxed. When your mind is busy calculating or worrying, it can trigger stress hormones like adrenaline. These hormones slow down or stall the release of oxytocin, the hormone that helps your uterus contract and labor progress. Simply put, overthinking can slow labor or make it more uncomfortable.
Here are five tips I always shared with moms to help stay present and out of their heads during labor:
- Use mantras or simple phrases
Repeating reassuring words like “one contraction at a time” or “trust my body” helps redirect your focus from thinking to feeling. - Prepare a birth plan with flexible intentions
Having a general plan written ahead of time reduces the need to make big decisions during labor. Remember it’s a guide, not a rulebook. - Create a calm, low-stimulation environment
Dim lights, soothing music, and familiar comfort items help reduce distractions that might trigger overthinking. - Move your body gently
Swaying, walking, dancing, or changing positions helps your mind engage with your body rather than abstract thoughts. - Have a trusted birth partner and/or doula
Build a team who holds space, understands your wishes, and can take on decision-making and communication with providers so you don’t have to juggle those thoughts yourself.
Looking back, I’m really glad I got to share this with so many moms. Birth is messy, unpredictable, and beautiful. There’s no math to solve... just a powerful journey to be trusted and experienced.
So if you’re expecting or supporting someone who is, remember: no birth math. Just trust the process and the amazing work your body is doing.
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